Bingo With Eva

Eva studied her Farmer’s Almanac. The yellow booklet was a roadmap for navigating through her stormy life. She always knew when a full moon was on the horizon and when her third eye was about to blink. The Farmer’s Almanac sat on Eva’s coffee table next to her holy book.

Esther, her best friend, turned her on to the best kept piece of literature published since the New Testament. Esther used the book for knowing when exactly to plant her seeds, when to expect harvests, and how certain herbs could be used for healing common ailments.

Long term weather forecasts in the almanac were more reliable than weather forecasts on radio station WHUN.

Eva used the annual publication, given to her as a Christmas gift by Esther, to cast spells and enhance her knowledge of what Christian mountain folk would consider to be work of the devil. Eva kept her distance from her neighbors, and for a good reason. She knew they would burn her at the stake if given the opportunity.

When the farmer’s almanac promised a full moon rising on the cusp of Venus her powers were in full force. Her psychic abilities were at their peek at this time, and she could often predict numbers in the Pennsylvania Daily Number lottery game. Her sadness also disappeared when the moon was high and dry.

She nearly fainted when she turned to page 84 to learn that a full moon was still three days away. Her fingers were tingling and she should could already zap unsuspecting residents of Huntingdon with her ungodly powers.Eva’s powers were unusually strong for a day three days prior to the full moon. She could only imagine what her energy would be like when the moon showed its full face in the Appalachian highlands come Saturday night.Eva could barely stand to pick up the telephone to call her friend Esther to invite her out to Saturday night bingo. She sensed strange vibes from the telephone, and on days when her energy was high, it was painful to make a phone call.

She dialed Esther without an area code or prefix by simply sticking her finger in holes in a plastic dial and turning the numbers 5-7-0-3.

"Hello Eva!" answered Esther."How did you know it was me? I told you people lose a part of their souls when they make phone calls. I hate all this modern technology, Esther. Do you remember what life was like before telephones? I tell you Esther, it’s the end of the world!" cried Eva."

I knew it was you because you always call me when the moon is full. Where are you taking me, to bingo again?" asked Esther.

"No, I thought I would tell you about this recipe for dandy lion wine I found in the farmers almanac." replied Eva with her fingers crossed behind her back.

"It’s my grandson’s birthday on Saturday I can’t go to bingo, Eva."

Eva held the black phone receiver a few feet from her hear as Esther respectfully declined the bingo invitation. She taped the ear piece of the phone twice, blinked her eyes and asked, "Are you sure?"

Esther felt a sudden tingling flush over her forehead– a feeling she normally only felt when her friend Eva worked with her in the vegetable garden. The feeling was strange, yet alluring. Esther was developing sexual feelings towards her female friend.

Esther didn’t want Eva to kiss her again, like she did the day when Esther harvested her first blue potato, but she truly enjoyed the time spent with her dear friend.

So Esther replied into the phone receiver– "Well you know Charlie just loves to play bingo." while rubbing the crotch of her polyester pants and accepting Eva’s invitation.