Praise the Lord and Pass the Check Book

So many people ask me for small change. Honestly, I cannot afford to give it away so freely, but I try to be charitable as much as possible.

If I were homeless, the last person I would want feeding me would be a virgin nun. I take this into account when the junkies hound me for cash.

Street people look at me like a saint when I pull singles from my wallet. Who am I to judge? Hell, if I lost my job, I’d be right next to them in less than three months.

Oh yes, I know– it’s illegal to give to pan handlers on the subway. I’m tempted to do it anyway, just to break the law.

I feel like Jesus when I sneak a quarter to the heroin addicts on Sundays.

It’s much more socially responsible to give to the Red Cross or the United Way. Take a look at how much administrative staff at some not-for-profits make. You may hide your wallet as if two strangers were approaching you in a parking lot at midnight.

Hurricane Katrina has pulled the tax ceiling of corruption from the roofs of our charities and it didn’t take a very strong wind to do it.

I certainly hope you were one who donated to the Red Cross after September 11th. If you hadn’t, I would not be listening to Mary J. Bliege on the radio this evening.

Money from the September 11th Fund went to a radio station to replace their antenna.

If you don’t believe me, write your congressman and ask for a detailed spreadsheet showing where every dollar donated to victims of the terrorist attack went.

Clear Channel Radio makes more each year than you and I put together and they thank you for every dollar of your charitable support.

The Red Cross and the United Way thank you too– especially New Yorkers! Society passed a law here that makes it only legal to give to pure Jewish and Christian charities like the Red Cross and the United Way. Thank the Lord that you give those in need and follow in the path of Jesus.