Bigger Love

It’s time to paint my apartment.

I’m feeling refreshed, in love and ready to move on with life again.

It’s time for new curtains, a new area rug and hell, not only am I getting a new computer but also one of those flat screen televisions.

I deserve it!

Yes, it is now officially my place. I have concluded that Shawn will not return from the dead and I can finally throw all of his things out in the trash and move on with my life.

I’m keeping that big black thing inside the cardboard box in the hallway closet though. When I redecorate the place after the painting, that magical luminous lighting fixture is going to replace the ugly lamp in my living room.

I believe the contraption inside that cardboard box is used to grow bud.

I’m not sure though.

My dead husband was so fucking smart. He must have known that the family would sweep in after his suicide and take everything but that “illegal” machine.

It was too heavy to carry so the family left it with me to dispose of along with hundreds if not thousands of porn tapes.

I didn’t go in that closet for years. Piles and piles of VHS pornography were stacked to the ceiling covering the magical cardboard box.

I finally got tired of crying and decided that after four years I needed more closet space, so I looked inside that box.

When I noticed the cigar box inside the black machine, I figured it was his stash of pot, which by now would have dried out totally.

But what do you know--- cash!
Lots of it.

Is it any wonder I cannot stop loving him.
So what does a bi-polar, jaded queen do when she finds another gift from her dead lover?

She takes her new man on vacation.

We’re off to Puerto Rico again!

Wee! It’s so fun being gay, I swear to God!

Several of Shawn’s friends knew of his magical weed machine. Since I don’t smoke they all called asking for it.

I was too lazy to pull it out of the closet from behind all that porn.

“No. You cannot have that. It’s the only thing his family did not steal from me when he died,” I explained.

It’s quite amazing, that mirrored fixture that stands about five feet tall. Behind the one way mirrors are rows and rows of fluorescent lights that make it possible for tropical foliage to flourish even in the most bitter of climates.

Wow, if I had only found that cash when he first died, I would no longer be in this town.

But hell, I have a new man now, just as hot as Shawn, so why would I want to leave New York City?

“No Ray-Ray, we are not going to use that thing. The electric bill is high enough. Besides, what happens if we get caught growing weed?”

“It’s for medicinal purposes. Tell them you are bi-polar and self-medicating,” my partner suggested.

“Look outside the window, dumb ass. Those are not marigolds! I have a plan for your birthday next month.”

“No, you cannot afford to take me to Puerto Rico again this year.”

“Yes I can. I have been saving up for years for this trip and by the way, we’re redecorating the entire place and this black box is going to be the focal point of my new interior design.”

“Finally! You are going to let me grow some pot?”

“Hell no, that’s for my vegetables but I could use some help smoking all of this!”

“Do you still love him more than me?”

“Yes, but he loves us both! Don’t you see?”