Calling All Cars The Re-Mix

Shawn withdrew from an addition to crack in a state prison.

Most insist that one can never overcome an addition to crack, but Shawn did. "It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do," he explained to me one morning while having instant coffee with him at his place in Brooklyn.

"Remember this sexy, you have to go through the fire to come out like gold," he advised.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"You’ll never understand what I’m talking about until you go through it, but I know you will go through it too because I chose you."

I looked at him like he was crazy, because he was, after all.

"I dated this guy back in L.A., Alfredo was his name. I was totally head over heels for him, but I ended up leaving him and a few months later he killed himself."

"He killed himself? Over you?"

"No, not over me, but I think I set it off—his depression. He was thrown in prison soon after I left him. He busted a few windows in a department store complex with a garbage can. He ended up killing himself in jail."

"I’m sorry."

"Getting over him was harder than getting over the crack. Honestly, I felt his pain—that pain that made him throw trash cans into windows. I wanted to kill myself too, but I never did. I think it’s because I was destined to meet you."

"Damn, you must have really loved him, but what made you leave him?"

"He was a clean freak. One night I spilled some sugar on the coffee table and he went off on me—started hitting me—it was out of the blue, he had never done anything like that before."

"What was the secret to getting over the crack and your lover?" I asked.

"I taught myself everything there is to know about computers and learned to play chess while in jail. Nobody ever beat me in chess in the pen. When it comes after you sexy, make sure you spend your time learning something new and not feeling sorry for yourself."