Learning To Write Non-Fiction

"Every school year, I ask my students to write an essay about me, their teacher. You are not required to write your name on your paper. You can write whatever you wish—I only ask that what you write is truthful," instructed the fourth grade elementary school teacher at Spring Farms Elementary School in rural Pennsylvania.

Stephen and Charlie, cousins through marriage and huge Donna Summer fans looked at each other in disbelief.

Stephen immediately grabbed his writing tablet and drew the cover of his short story. He wrote the words "Go to Heaven and take a U turn" and sketched a half circle with an arrow pointing down.

Charlie giggled like a little girl, grabbed his number two Ticonderoga pencil and began his career in writing.

The song "Bad Girls" was running through his head that day in class and he quietly hummed the lyrics "Toot-toot, hey beep-beep," as words started to fill the light blue lines running across the page.

Mike Nead, Penny Chilcoat, Missy Anderson and the other bad kids in class took note of what the kissing cousins were up to and joined in on the literary bashing of their school teacher.

Charlie noticed lots of bad words underlined on the pages of his fellow classmates and could not resist joining in on the vulgarity of it all.

Mr. Holovokia collected the essays at the end of the day. "I don’t know who wrote some of these essays, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it," insisted the school teacher. "When I find out who wrote these things, you will receive a paddling and I will contact your parents," explained the teacher while holding up Charlie’s neatly written piece with near perfect penmanship.

Mr. Holovakia whipped the young tender asses of Charlie, Stephen, Mike, Penny and Missy like a sado-masochistic pedophile.

When Mr. Holovakia contacted Charlie’s mom, she told the ugly bastard to fuck off and the next time, he should not encourage his students to write whatever they wish.