Aborting the Constitutional Amendment

I hope the Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage is passed.

What will Jim McGreevy and I do if they make our kind of love commonplace?

If we are freed and granted the same rights as everyone else, what fun will those trucker-sucker hot spots along the Jersey Turnpike be?

I can’t imagine a world where everyone embraces homosexuality. Young homosexuals will not grow up gifted if the oppression is erased from developing young gay minds.

If I am forced to watch two more gay male nerds suck face on the late night news I will puke.

Sure it’s important to show the news as fair and balanced, but why do the fags who read “Out” and “The Advocate” always take center stage when it comes time for fighting for our cause?

Has anyone else noticed that when CNN covers the gay marriage issue, they only spotlight commitment ceremonies of two prematurely balding, flamboyantly gay males who look like Elmer Fudd with Botox injections?

The lesbians they report on are also a waste of precious gay airtime. The dykes who kiss in churches as Anderson Cooper reports look like men who I’ve blown in turnpike rest stops.

The media is not making it sexy to be gay.

Our only hope of winning over America and our freedom is to first turn the heterosexuals on.

Start showing gay dudes who look like Brad Pitt and me on Rita Cosby’s Big Story and watch who wins the next election.