Private Payne

I never knew about the pregnancy because she disappeared from my life for almost a decade after we made crazy love that one and only time.

Her back certainly didn’t seem to hurt when I showed her my heterosexuality.

Years later, after leaving my second tour of duty, I worked at an AIDS charity in Harlem as a grant writer for the cause. I was headed home one evening and while walking down a stairway into the subway a butch Black dyke called my name. "Charles. Charles George Taylor, what are you doing in my life again?" she asked while looking like Satin in the flesh on the stairway to heaven.

We met for tea. Lisa dropped the bomb about our supposed love child and asked for money.

"You live such a fantasy life, Lisa," I said while chuckling. I wanted to see the child face to face and DNA evidence before I started forking over cash to my crazy Army girlfriend as she handed me a photograph.

She was a riot and fun to hang out with while in the Army but I had grown up. I realized then that Lisa was attracted only to gay men and used me as her blow- up sex doll back in the Army.

I certainly wouldn’t stand by and let her rub my face in it again.

I knew what I wanted and it pissed her off.

I knew Lisa can be as shady as a drag queen with a big hat so I gave her only sixty dollars and told her to make an appointment for Christopher and I to have blood tests.

"I’m proud of you Charles, you turned into a beautiful homosexual" she said as she walked out of my life for the last time shaking an ass that still looked juicy.

She left me a telephone message the last I heard from her. She told me she was taking Christopher and moving to Florida. She said "I hope all that dick tastes good!" and hung up on me.

I haven’t bumped or burped into her since.