Private Payne

It was only Lisa other homosexuals who acted shady towards me when I was outed in the Army.

They were in fear of their own career perhaps. I thought for sure Uncle Sam was going to shut down my gayness and beauty salon when Lisa started blabbing my business to the platoon.

I just knew I would have to run back home to rural Appalachia with my gay tail between my legs, trying to explain myself to the First Baptist Church of Three Springs.

But electricity and hot water are more valuable in the woods of Bavaria during field training exercises than the fact that a back-sliding queer can wear a uniform and pretend he’s a butch straight guy.

They forced me to finish out my enlistment time without kicking me out for homosexual sin and I was pissed.

I left the military honorably to pursue a career in journalism. Penn State accepted me at the main campus my first year even though I had low S.A.T. scores. Another chick who loved my pretty lips and who happened to own the county’s newspaper gave me a paying internship and a power call to Penn State’s main offices.

Lisa was so happy for me. She called my mother all the time for constant updates as I walked out of the Army to write at Penn State.

I thought it may make my mother happy that I had a girl friend in the Army, but it didn’t. Lisa called her from Germany almost every night just to talk about how much she loved and missed me.

She told my mom about the troops and who came into my barracks room on cold December nights.

Mom told me to stop dating girls and turn gay.