Private Payne

"I’ll turn your white ass in! Trust me, this is not the life for you, Charles! I’m what you need. Please don’t do this to yourself," Lisa pleaded as my lips started to taste fruits other than hers.

I told her that I wanted her out of my life along with my piles and piles of Bibles.

She promised to go, but she didn’t. She stood outside my barracks room door at night making sure I wasn’t destroying myself before her eyes and God’s.

She started to tell everyone the juicy gossip about my tendencies. I thought for sure my Army career would end in tragedy.

I was prepared to go down in battle. Dispite Lisa’s vindictive outing, fellow soldiers in Charlie Company stood behind their fellow soldier and ignored the gossip.

Perhaps because I was an excellent radio teletype operator and served our country proudly.

Nobody in the military cares that one is gay. It’s like prison where we all fall upon an unfortunate time in our lives and are forced to co-exist.

I was the gay soldier in Charlie Company, who like Martha Stewart, could cook up some fabulous dishes from Meals Ready to Eat while on forty day field training exercises in the dead of winter.

Outing Private Taylor was like disrespecting one’s mamma.

I was quite cute with my red cherry lips sticking out from under green camouflage while luring soldiers into my rig with my secret spices and home cooked touches.

I never made any unwelcoming passses.

I always waited for them to make the first strategic move.

Straight soldiers loved my cooking and realized that even homos can help defend America. So they defended me when Lisa’s neculear strike was about to hit.